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about

This song is more a realization than anything. I've been wrong about a LOT of shit in my past, and I haven't always done things that were the SMARTEST for my future. I've realized that I was growing bitter and envious towards successful people that had been given everything, ones that were working their asses off to make it, and even to people who were BARELY making it. Convincing myself that I'm really not doing too bad in general for my age took a really long time, and I'm glad that I have because it's led to me taking steps to IMPROVE my flaws. It's a work in progress, but it's something.

lyrics

How are we supposed to survive in this, our most troubling of times?
Abyss has swallowed all the eye could take in.
Everyone you see here that has smiled is faking
and waiting patiently to die...
So we can bury all the ones that died side by side
in graves just waiting to be robbed.
May my remains be burned inside a fire! I'm so tired I may not view it as a loss.

What hope do I have, after all? It's too late.
I'd rather die than work a job that I hate.
The world just makes me feel so small. Why wait?
I bleed through the clenched teeth in my jaw and feel great.
While I'm waiting patiently to die...
Suffer in silence, 'cause it's not that bad. Oddly, I miss my dad.
I hate he ever had to be a part of all the sorry shit I did.
I'm sorry, again.
I'm glad he no longer has to see...

The way I'm living like a bad disease.
I'm always fighting when I claim to fight for peace.
I NEED to focus more on getting clean.
I look in the mirror and I don't see a human being.
As I wait patiently to die...

It's all MY fault that I've become this way. So full of hate because all those I hate bothered to try.
Last night I dreamed that I had disappeared, but I'm still right here so I may as well have fun while I'm alive.

credits

from Holy Water, Sober Thoughts, and An Overactive Imagination, released July 10, 2019
Robyn Daigneault (Red Bird) - Percussion, production.
Chris Lutterloah - Lyrics, vocals, and guitar.

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all rights reserved

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about

Chelsea Hates Me Elgin, South Carolina

Chelsea Hates Me is an experimental solo act made for people who’ve made a lot of mistakes. I retired this project for
freebasedpropane.bandcamp.com/releases

Because contrary to THIS stage of my life, I'm now sober, and I've started taking responsibility for what I do.
... more

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