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All Alone EP

by Chelsea Hates Me

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1.
Worthless 02:33
I lost my friends to my mind. I'm not as strong as I pretend. Thought I was safe inside, but now you're moving on, forgetting me. We all live to die. There's no purpose, no reason to try. I'm over it, but I know you will remember every mistake of mine. Lying in my bed for the whole day because I'm broken. I haven't left for days unless I had to smoke and Sometimes it feels like I'm fucking up on purpose. I'm sorry for the shit. I'm sorry that I'm worthless. All alone again. I do this to myself, it's why I'll never win. I feel how I used to feel. I run in circles just like a wagon wheel. My mind is falling apart, I fell asleep face down in your front yard. I'm sorry for the stupid things that knowing me will bring. Lying in my bed for the whole day because I'm broken. I haven't left for days unless I had to smoke and Sometimes it feels like I'm fucking up on purpose. I'm sorry for the shit. I'm sorry that I'm worthless.
2.
Existential crisis has clasped me in its jaws, I always rub my eyes until they are red and raw. I'm not afraid to cry except when I'm with you, I'm choking when we fight, my face is turning blue. I've walked a thousand Kamel miles and wound up here. You barely roused me from the sleep I had last year. Still I found something to latch me to your leg, Not hearing sound till you found someone else instead. If you run away from me, if you open up your eyes, Please just stay away from me when I wear a new disguise. If you ever have to see me in the smoky lights, Hope you never have to see me after tonight. Of all the fame that I could ever hope to earn, I'd give it all away if I could just have her. Sometimes it feels as though the world has reached an end, That's what I tell myself on another drunken binge. My body's rotting fast, it quickly hits the core. I run full steam ahead, not knowing what's in store. Here I lie in bed just hoping that there's more To tie me to this world I've tried to leave before. If you run away from me, if you open up your eyes, Please just stay away from me when I wear a new disguise. If you ever have to see me in the smoky lights, Hope you never have to see me after tonight.
3.
Away, Away 02:32
If you think that I'm not good enough, just walk away. I should've been the only one you kept when you needed change. I was sitting in the oval office in your mind, in utero These are expectations you should've ignored. I was an embryo. I'm sorry I have not lived up to your dreams. Sorry that you've given up on what's left of me. Sometimes I think it's funny, All of this time it was you that's been running away, away from me. My father's given up on this, he says that he's still there. My mother is a cosmetologist, she's doing hair. The addict out of them's the only one that talks to me, The other one ditched out because I shunned responsibility. I'm sorry I have not lived up to your dreams. Sorry that you've given up on what's left of me. Sometimes I think it's funny, All of this time it was you that's been running away, away from me.
4.
My Darling H 02:35
Still hang around despite all my apprehensions, You were still hurt despite all my best intentions. You should've had the sense to walk away from me. A victim of your lover's mental deprivation. I fell short of your views of dedication. Your common sense should've hit you with reality. You fell to my selfish needs again, You felt as if you'd seen within. My darling H, you've left me in the dust now. My darling, wait. I know I've been a let down. I've been the cause of your most recent aggravations. Your teary eyes the only source of hydration. You knew the man that I was before you came to stay. Sleep on the couch, you're on my mind through the duration. Hand on my heart, I fall asleep to the pulsation. It was my selfish being that made you run away. You fell to my selfish needs again, You felt as if you'd seen within. My darling H, you've left me in the dust now. My darling, wait. I know I've been a let down.
5.
Just Friends 04:32
Yesterday I watched you rip apart a photograph of you and me, Cause lately we take pictures using technology, but you don't know what that picture used to mean. I kept it in my wallet the whole time, the whole time that we never spoke. It was the only reason I had my wallet when I woke, even though drunk me knew that I was broke. Nowadays we call each other friends, but I won't forget the memories we shared. Even though you left and I pretended not to care, when you're around me all I ever do is stare. I lost my voice of reason now you're back. I'm desperate to make you feel the same. I hope you feel that love for me again someday, but you won't and I'm the only one to blame. We claim to be "just friends," I'm not sure if I can live with that. Sometimes it feels like I'll have a heart attack, 'cause the pounding my heart's done since you came back. I want to hold you again, I wish we could make amends. You need me to grow up, and I swear on life I can, but I don't know how to love you as "just friends." Maybe I'm just selfish and a dick, I'm trying really hard to be okay. It's harder than it seems because I miss holding your face. It's hard to view you any other way. Swore I wouldn't write this stupid song. I wish I could see me through your eyes. I lost self control and it comes as no surprise, but I didn't see a reason to lie. We claim to be "just friends," I'm not sure if I can live with that. Sometimes it feels like I'll have a heart attack, 'cause the pounding my heart's done since you came back. I want to hold you again, I wish we could make amends. You need me to grow up, and I swear on life I can, but I don't know how to love you as "just friends."
6.
I've been shook by lonlyness, And you remind me that you're all that I have left. The only reason I ever sang these songs To begin with. I know that I am wrong. But I love you like I always have, Tomorrow evening may just be my last. I'm so tired it should be a crime, I won't sleep if I can't see you tonight. These four walls close in and I can only stare. In the bedroom that we used to share. You know I care, but I must stare Into the emptiness that I have grown to fear. I'm turning sour, my dearest friend. It's who I am, I'm just a man without a plan. Here I stand afraid of falling back in love. Here I am, though I may never be enough. I'm so tired it should be a crime, I won't sleep if I can't see you tonight. These four walls close in and I can only stare. In the bedroom that we used to share.
7.
It's been a whole day since I last had a smoke. It's been a whole year since I left you alone. Three years have passed on this old stick and poke, Since I've heard your voice on my telephone. I hate the time and the way that it left us. I miss your love and how normal it kept us. In this apartments, hope you won't forget me. I'd hold you again if only you'd let me. Maybe it's wrong of me, but I care for you like nobody else. Obviously I've got things to work out, but I'm scared to lose touch. I know you can tell. Stale cigarettes remind me of you, but then again there's little that won't. I'm willing to bet I'm acting insane. I'm explaining again, in case you don't know. I'm better already and you're nowhere near me. I stare out the window in hopes you're appearing. I know that it's wrong, I know that I'm foolish. I've so much time that I've nothing to do with. Maybe I'm sad but I've been working through The problems I've had since leaving you. This isn't a love song, but I had to confess I'm right here forever, the same loyal mess. Maybe it's wrong of me, but I care for you like nobody else. Obviously I've got things to work out, but I'm scared to lose touch. I know you can tell. Stale cigarettes remind me of you, but then again there's little that won't. I'm willing to bet I'm acting insane. I'm explaining again, in case you don't know.

about

This EP is one made up of multiple apologies. Apologies to people I've hurt, apologies to people that meant more to me than they knew. It also contains the last songs I'll write to the woman that made this band happen. The All Alone EP goes out to Haley, Brad, Foxy Kim, Wyatt, Eric, Brennen, Jacob, Alexa, my dad, my mom, and Chelsea.

Thank you all for listening.

credits

released March 4, 2017

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Chelsea Hates Me Elgin, South Carolina

Chelsea Hates Me is an experimental solo act made for people who’ve made a lot of mistakes. I retired this project for
freebasedpropane.bandcamp.com/releases

Because contrary to THIS stage of my life, I'm now sober, and I've started taking responsibility for what I do.
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